What are boundaries? How do you define this for yourself? If I polled a room of 1,000 people, there would be 1,000 responses. We each get to decide what this looks like for us and how these work for us. There is no "perfect" boundary- just boundaries that work better than others.
For me, boundaries are those moments when we draw that line in the sand. This is my line of protection, of defense, of keeping my emotional and physical needs safe. Boundaries can be our form of magic.
A lot of my clients struggle to want boundaries because they know, deep down, that the people they *need* to set boundaries with are the very people who won't respect our boundaries.
In other words, the people who need boundaries are the people who often have the power in the relationship. There's an unconscious transfer of power-- of our power-- that happens at some point in the relationship. And often, because it's "always been that way," we don't try to claim that power back.
But here's the thing about power, power isn't fixed. Despite what we've learned, power isn't something you own like a prized possession. By it's very nature, power is fluid, it's moving, it's energy. Power can transfer easily- it's about claiming your power. It's about drawing that line in the sand which says, "my needs matter too." It's about starting to believe that our needs do, in fact, matter too.