building secure attachment

When you've grown up with emotionally immature parents, you've likely experienced a caregiver be dismissing, rejecting, self-involved, hypercritical, or overinvolved in your life and that impacts your brain on a neurological level. Our earliest months of life set the stage for how our brain learns how to be in relationship, and it's primarily based on how our caregivers interacted with us and responded to us when we were distressed. 

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Just under half of the US population falls into the category of "non-secure attachment," which means that when in relationship, our brains are programmed to cling and chase our partner (ambivalent or anxious attachment) or avoid and dismiss (avoidant attachment). And while our attachment style is not fixed (meaning that we can be securely attached to one person, avoidantly attached to the next, and anxiously attached to a third), we can identify patterns of non-security in relationship and explore ways of building up your sense of security and safety in our work together. 

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As an attachment therapist, my job will to model for you how a safe and secure attachment can be experienced. We may explore your history of attachment to important others, but our work is often in the present moment by having new and safe experiences with significant others. In therapy, you'll learn the tools and skills needed to self-regulate and stay present in relationship and in conflict, while being able to advocate for your needs and clearly communicate any emotions that come up for you. 

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I'm licensed to provide telehealth therapy in Kansas, Colorado, Illinois, and Missouri.