Lessons in love: Gottman-Method

Lessons in Love is a Gottman-Method workshop designed for singles to learn the necessary skills to build lasting love. John Gottman has been studying relationships since 1971 and when he and Julie Schwartz Gottman started the Gottman Institute, they had one goal in mind: give couples tangible tools to improve their relationships based on years of research into what makes relationships successful. However, while their primary focus has been to help couples, it wasn't until the last decade when the Gottman-Institute recognized a growing need within the singles community— during an endemic of loneliness— to also have access to these skills, so  they created the Lessons in Love Workshops for Singles. These workshops are designed to help singles learn how to recognize safe and healthy people when dating, how to communicate when things are going well or not-so-well, and how to build emotional intimacy from the ground up. 

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Colby became a Lessons in Love leader in 2026 in an attempt to bring this research into his local LGBTQ+ community. These workshops are a "pay what you can" model and his primary focus is to put this research and these relational tools into the hands of those who need it most. While most Lessons in Love leaders charge upwards of $325 for this event, Colby's main concern is in giving back to the community he most cherishes. He is only able to do this with the generosity of donations from attendees.

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Who is appropriate for these workshops?

The Lessons in Love: Seven Principles for Singles workshop is designed to help single people who want to be in a fulfilling relationship learn the components of a successful one. Classes are limited to queer men over the age of 18 by the first class date.  The beauty of the Gottman Method is that over 40 years of research have been conducted on what makes relationships succeed and what makes them fail. The course is designed for single people since dating is covered, but it can also be appropriate for people in a newer relationship. At times, married/committed people have attended the workshop on their own to gain skills and enhance their ability to be good partners.

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Who isn't appropriate for these workshops?

Psychoeducational classes are not appropriate for all people, including those with severe distress, significant emotional or physical abuse, serious emotional or mental health problems, individuals who are actively addicted to drugs or alcohol, and people who have serious compulsive behavior with gambling, sexual acting out, and other disruptive behaviors. This class is not appropriate when individuals are experiencing these issues. Should the presence of these situations be discovered during the class, a referral will be made for individual psychotherapy.