Therapy for Gay & Queer Men

The way we socialize men sometimes means we don't receive the same emotional and relational tools in childhood to be able to address our problems in healthy ways. As queer men, we often miss out on important developmental milestones such as dating while in middle or high school. We may navigate feelings of shame about who we are attracted to, fear of others discovering our attraction, or shame surrounding rejection. 

These early relationships in adolescence are important for us to learn how to communicate romantic interest and to learn how to navigate relational conflict and repair. For a lot of us, our first relationships (or the first relationships we're actively invested in) don't come until our twenties or thirties. And trying to navigate dating can sometimes lead to decreased self-worth, rejection sensitivity, body image distress around masculinity and desirability, and even dating fatigue.

You aren't behind. You may simply be learning some of the relationship skills and experiences you weren't given the opportunity to develop earlier.

Dating and hookup apps have given us more possibilities of connection than we’ve ever had. And while we are getting back to our cruising roots with these apps, this can create a paradox of having access to so many potential connections while struggling to develop meaningful intimacy. Access to connection doesn’t always correlate to access to experiencing intimacy. Historically, our community has always explored various relational structures, and my goal is to help you identify your values when it comes to relationships, so you have confidence in choosing a relational structure (ie. monogamy, open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, etc.) that works for your lifestyle. 

Dating and navigating relationships can feel overwhelming and lonely. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are ways to build emotional awareness and begin processing past attachment injuries to improve your confidence and start actively creating the life you wish to live, in the direction of your most important values. 

As your therapist, we will begin building the tools you need to build security in connection to improve your confidence and help you achieve a fuller life, greater belonging, resilience, and the freedom to thrive.